Monday, December 29, 2008

Are you fit for marriage?

I know a lot of people who are not happy in their marriages, and definitely more boring people after they got married than before.

I know a lot who are divorced and bitter, or even worse, sad. It doesn't matter whether the marriages are arranged or the partners chosen by each other - both sides of the aisle present candidates richly unfit for marriage. Clearly, there aren't that many formulae that work these days for a happy marriage, but I've noticed it is a certain "type" of people that indeed find marital bliss. You're not going to change the type of person you are, so you can delve into this simple set of questions to figure out if you are fit just for the wedding (which all your noble "qualifications" are good at determining), or indeed for the marriage that follows.

10. Are you getting married for any reason other than because it seems like the "right" thing to do?

9. Is your mate the person you would love to hang out with, no matter what life presents?

8. Do you have infinite patience and love for children, even at their irritating worst?

7. Do you have a sense of humour that peaks when life is hardest?

6. Do you know how to let your partner learn from his/her mistakes without saying "I told you so"?

5. Do you know to communicate how strongly you feel about something without getting emotional?

4. Is it important for you to really enjoy good sex?

3. Do you have a reserve tank of energy for emergencies that come up daily?

2. Are you a fun person that others would want to have around?

1. Are you crazy about your life, your friends, their lives, your family, their families, little ones, a packed schedule and the sheer madness of normal life and yet able to get away from it when you need a moment of quiet?

If you answered NO to any of the above, you might very well be fit for the wedding, but still unfit for marriage. My advice to you - don't get married. It's that simple. If you do, and life sucks, please stop complaining to others. Your marriage is what followed after your wedding, not mine!

On a positive note, don't buy into this crap that every marriage has its ups and downs. It is usually the smart ones that have most of the ups and the dumb ones that have most of the downs!

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Good Vs. the Fit

Why is it that there is no movie with a smarter villain, capable of outdoing the hero at every turn? What if the story of the hero ends in despair, while the villain lives to conquer more? Isn't that closer to the truth of what transpires, particularly in India? Isn't it true that most crimes go unpunished, including corruption and rape?

So, why do we keep faith in the "forces" of "good" that might one day, possibly turn things around for us? The simple answer is that we do that instead of accepting that we don't have the strength in ourselves to fight all that is wrong. Our weakness finds solace in the feeling that we are on the "good" side. This way, we don't have to feel ashamed of who we are, even while we should. We have every reason to be appalled and enraged by the decay of moral standards, but we are perfectly all right expecting God to do the work we should be doing.

The morality cloud, with its labyrinth of philosphical perspectives, hides many layers of grey, and provides a nebulous sanctuary to avoid having to face the clearest of questions - are we willing to fight against evil even if it means having to kill? If answering to the dark side in us is the only way to sustain a victory of good over evil, are we ready to go there? Are we really on the good side, when we don't take pains to fight the smallest of crimes?

Good guys can win, but only when they are fit to win. Being good has absolutely nothing to do with winning, except that it might serve to give the individual an assumed sense of righteousness, strength and positive energy. Being perceived as "good" can in India, save you from the perhaps more honest perception of being "unfit". It is just the way we have twisted ourselves to believe that good and fit for us to trust are the same thing.

On a treacherous road to a religious destination, it is more important for a driver to have skill rather than belief in God, but our pilgrims winding through those roads will be happier if the car gets a timely pooja over a timely oil change. This is just who we are - fiendishly superstitious, and outrageously stuck to the idea of the good and the godly over the fit and the practical!

Is God truly on the side of all that is good? Oooh, big question! Honestly, I don't think God cares one way or the other, and a lot of weak rascals who are scared to talk about the need to be strong simply claimed God on their side in the name of being "good". So, how does all powerful God put up with villainy, deceit, untruth, and millions of other vices? Maybe God is on the other side, enjoying the joke? Personally, I'd leave God out of this equation, and do what we need to do.

It is hard to be good, no doubt. It is hard to be kind hearted, righteous, soft spoken, honest and caring. But it would be a lot harder if everyone was angry, cruel, loud, demanding, dishonest and uncaring towards us! So, we come up with this construct called civil society that all but ignores the natural "survival of the fittest" instincts we are born with. We have put in place every system where the sharpest of us can be kept down through the dullest in the collective, through a devious mechanism of rules and regulations. The dullest have subscribed to the idea of goodness and Godliness, so there is no way we will give leadership to the sharpest because they don't care much to look like God! See, we don't want leadership that challenges us. We want leaders that we can trash fairly quickly, which means they can't be that much ahead of us.

Thankfully, we do have the beginnings of a meritocracy when it comes to education and employment, however much of a farce both of these turn out to be for the average Indian. But when it comes to our cricket players, nothing but the best will do. If everyone in the country performs as well as our cricket team, we'd be a phenomenally advanced country. We ignore this fact, and give birth to icons, who must be "good" guys beyond all else. Abhinav Bhindra can never be as much of a "good" guy as Sachin Tendulkar, because SRT is an iconic influence who keeps it simple for the masses, but the gold medalist Bhindra is a more complex kettle of fish, capable of a sophisticated thought process, and some of his most insightful comments have been brought under the anti-national microscope! There aren't that many Indians who truly see Bhindra as being bigger than Tendulkar, even though his achievement clearly suggests unquestionable mastery. Bhindra will never be the icon the "little master" is, simply because he doesn't care so much about the patriotic tag while Tendulkar lives by it, much like Kapil Dev.

No matter what brings out our best and worst reactions, our politicians see through it all! That is how they maintain themselves above all law - after all, what kind of weakling would challenge a politician and his muscle power? If we really cared that much, we'd become a mob, raid the homes of our corrupt politicians, beat the crap out of them, and lynch a few. The security cordons that our leaders maintain have very little to do with any real danger from terrorists, but everything to do with the people they should and are scared of - us!

If we could shed our notions of being good, and simply took it upon us to become unabashedly strong in our support of what is right, we would be able to weed out the useless chaff fairly quickly, and make this country unpretentious and strong, clear in its ideologies as in its direction. That's an India all our Gods would be proud of.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Creative Politics, Please!

It has to be fear. Fear of change, fear of being chastised, fear of looking stupid. It is rampant upon you if you are the average Indian. In a culture of negativity comes a decision to make our country a democracy, and after thousands of years of kings and hundreds under the British, it is only natural that our beloved Mother India has a character that is twisted and confused, warped and unfit, and our politicians can only reflect that.

Still, we have come a long way in sixty odd years since independence, and will go much further faster if we drop our archaic notions of what is "good" and simply focus on what "works" for us. Our domestic policy of appeasement of minorities through reservations has by and large, not worked. Our foreign policy of non-allignment worked for a while before it became meaningless, and now, our coalition government looks great as an example of a shining democracy, but that is useful only for patting ourselves on the back, and terrible when it comes to getting something done.

Our policy of keeping Kashmir in a "special status" has not worked at all, even though it can be argued that Kashmir has not been environmentally degraded by industrialization. How about degrading it with poverty? Yes Sir, we can deliver that. No wonder we have trouble there, and it just helped Pakistan infiltrate and cause mayhem of many sorts. Now, we have a military that is superior to that of Pakistan, but we do not have the mindset to wrest Kashmir out of Pakistan's grip. Neither do we want to concede and save millions of rupees fighting a war we do not want to win.

Our economic policies since Manmohan Singh came to the fore have been great. To turn our country from bankruptcy to where we are today is commendable. Here we have something that works, come as it did out of an impossibility to continue in the direction we had gone for a long time. See, we're good at rescuing ourselves from terrible dangers we cause upon ourselves!

We have been criticized for not having enough strong laws against terror. I disagree, and would go far enough to say, not many countries have much of a policy to prevent terror attacks, but have fairly good measures to safeguard a lot of places, but no country can claim to be attack proof. We have a huge coastline, lots of soft targets, a police force that cannot catch even a schoolboy on a fast sprint, and politicians that have no intention of delivering anything on any front, so it is going to take a while before we figure out how to combat terror. I'd say we're no worse at combating terror than we are at combating pollution.

What would happen if we got creative with our politics? It isn't as if we are going to sink if we got a few things wrong, since we get most things wrong anyway, and it isn't as if we'd feel shy if something worked out! So, what is stopping us from coming up with really creative ways of solving problems? A lack of ideas? That just cannot be since we Indians are full of ideas, especially after the fact. So, we need to find a way to get these ideas to the decision makers.

Let's start with terrorists. If they're looking for martyrdom, the best way to deny that to a Muslim terrorist is to bathe him (or his dead body) in pig's blood, and bury him in pieces along with a fair amount of pork all over him. If we telecast this, or send a DVD to Osama Bin Laden, the bastards who are members of LeT and other idiots fighting the so called Holy War, they can see for themselves how they are sending their young recruits into a guaranteed passage to hell. Take away the ultimate prize and they will think twice before attacking us.

We need to remove all nationalist emotion at a time like this. How dare we give terrorists the satisfaction of having attacked a nation? Do they deserve a reaction that brings out our flag? Shouldn't we reserve nationalist sentiments for much bigger causes than fighting a bunch of no good thugs with inflated notions? Who the hell is this cockroach Kasav to make us feel so strongly about our "country"? Why isn't anybody talking about this? All the emotional stuff that comes on our media plays right into the hands of terrorists that they are getting enormously bloated results. If the I and B ministry calls the heads of all the TV channels into a room and tells them point blank that if they don't stop this nationalistic shit, they will lose their broadcasting licenses, it is bound to have an effect. But then, that takes creativity and imagination. I wonder if nationalism can ever be replaced by pragmatism, that would be the beginning of light and growth, but right now, we have a bunch of clueless idiots in positions of enormous power and significance who can't see beyond some retarded idea of flag hoisting over a bunch of terror attacks.

Whoever came up with this idea of human chains? We form human chains for every rhyme and reason, and it is understandable in a time of great human grief, like the aftermath of a tsunami, but to give a bunch of extremists that kind of reaction - not my idea of putting them in their place. We should stop this nonsense and come back to "normal" in every way we can. Mumbai, I hope your resilience hasn't melted to this mushy stuff just because we as a nation poured it over you.

If Pakistan talks about "non-state actors" being responsible for terror againt India, we should quietly tell them what non-state targets we are about to bomb, and how it would really help if they could help us finding more non-state actors within Pakistan and how they can line them up near our non-state border for us to pick up and question and kill! If Pakistan drags its feet, it wouldn't hurt to drape the pork chops and pig blood in the Pakistani flag before giving the criminals a public burning on the stake.

There are five rivers that flow in Pakistan. All five originate in India. Now, that should get us thinking, for there is plenty we can do with river water. A biological agent that prevents pregnancies should do very well. One that makes people absolutely incapacitated physically will be a good one to follow up in an emergency. But then, there is the pesky issue of a River Water accord that we have signed with Pakistan, and the last time we wanted to build a dam across one of these rivers, Pakistan ran in panic to the UN to stop the project. Why this accord should hold good when Pakistan feels free to challenge the Kashmir Accession accord is beyond me, but doesn't have to be beyond our policy makers. Poisoning the waters, now that, is a trump card. Inhuman? How about the nuclear weapons both countries have?

We have to be creative in avoiding an expensive dramatic conflict with Pakistan, simply because it is unnecessary and should be more fun to see them implode instead of explode. Right now, it is one helluva clusterf@#k in that godforsaken country. If Pakistanis want to be really holy about sending their children to madarasas instead of modern schools, they should not want to go to other countries for a living. If they want to embrace a modern world and send people to play professional sport in other countries, they should make sure there is no other dimension that wants to take Pakistan to the stone age with their religious nonsense.

The country has no singular character, and we are all okay with that, but it really shouldn't involve any effort on our part, India's part, to have to deal with two Pakistans. For us, the bastards who come across the border to bomb our cities are the same as the people who go to other countries to study and later settle down there. Pakistanis are Pakistanis, and if one Pakistan wants to declare war against India, they are all our bloody enemies. Until we get this clear in our heads, we won't be winning any war. It is upto us to creatively bleed Pakistan and paint them in one colour, especially after an incident like Mumbai.

India has everything to gain by painting to the world at large that Pakistan is a rogue state, which it is. There should be no thought spared to decent Pakistanis who want a peaceful life, for it is THEIR business to rein in their extreme elements, not ours to understand how hard it is for them. India can get really clever and disturb Pakistan economically and socially, by doing a few creative things. This captured terrorist Kasav has said he was offered 1.5 lakhs to do what he did. We can offer 20 lakhs to people who can give us information about terrorists like Dawood Ibrahim. We should begin by paying the sum to a few Pakistanis! What a riot that will start! If 1.5 lakhs is enough for someone to give his life, 20 lakhs ought to settle it in our favour. Creativity is everything. If we can make people buy Rin soap instead of Nirma, we should be able to figure out how to get Pakistanis to play in our favour.

Loss of productivity is a huge loss. Every traffic jam is a loss of productivity. It isn't that hard for us to create loss of productivity in the multiple for our neighbour. After all, waving the flag of "TERROR" works in miraculous ways. Pakistan has given us all we need to raise flags of terror everywhere not quite in its favour. We can use this in very nice ways to eat away at Pakistan's economy through its lack of credibility. The fact that they are always teetering between civilian and military rule should give us great joy, not worry, like our politicians and self proclaimed experts claim. In the foreseeable future, the UN will have to "invade" Pakistan as peacekeepers, as warring factions will take over those non-state areas that the government of Pakistan doesn't control. This would take some genius within the Indian political mechanism, but since India is a big contributor to UN peacekeeping missions all over the world, it will work in India's favour massively, if the Indian Army could enter Pakistan under a UN flag. We will really get to keep the peace in the way we want, while having the sanction of the world.

Military governments are not looked upon very favourably by the world community. Pakistan is no self sustaining island of prosperity. Pakistan isn't as economically untouchable as we are. They can ill afford sanctions to be slapped upon them. India should convince, bribe, bully and cajole all international aid agencies to suspend all aid to Pakistan, get all Pakistani charities under an umbrella of suspicion, ensure that all their ships are searched extensively at all ports of call, ensure that all Pakistani citizens pass through separate highly scrutinized lines at airports, their planes are searched and treated like bombs, and do everything possible with our media machinery to put so much pressure on every Pakistani citizen till they change their ways, collectively, not individually. It is possible, but needs some creativity in our decision making processes.

There are several regions of Pakistan that the Pakistani govenment doesn't control. Waziristan for example. These won't be bad places for some of our missiles to start hitting some targets, particularly since our satellites can pick up some pretty dramatic imagery. If we can see how ripe mangoes in the Sunderbans are, we can definitely see terrorist training camps. If there are any monkeys with guns running around with beards in these areas, they are fair game. There is so much confusion in that area right now, with the militants being attacked by Pakistani army, the army being attacked by the militants, Americans shooting at the militants, Pakistani army hating the fact and wanting to thwart the American military, and the resulting confusion can only be increased in sparkle by our missiles hitting some targets. The Pakistani army doesn't dare start a war with India while they can't even fight these dope funded groups.

It is no secret that the drug trade funds the militants in this area. It is their currency. We could destroy their market by following the trail and replacing it with a supply from a South American country. Colombia, Peru and other such banana republics can produce any amount of dope and strip these mountain monkeys in Afghanistan and Pakistan from competing. If they can pump millions of rupees in counterfeit Indian currency through Nepal, we can bloody well make sure the price of heroin drops till the teeth start falling out of impoverished drug dealers. Of course this would take a great deal of awareness in theatres of action very far away from where we are, but we have ambitions of being a superpower don't we? So, why can't the fools in New Delhi come up with some New Ideas?

The biggest sham, which we should continue with, is the peace process. We should continue our bus diplomacy, train diplomacy, and even some jackass and mule diplomacy as we see fit. This is all about image and if there is one country whose image has taken a beating and is guaranteed to take a bigger hit, that is Pakistan, not India. We should overtly do everything to continue to look like the caring neighbour who sees terrorism as much of a Pakistani problem as it is India's. Yeah, sure, it is as much Pakistan's problem, but it is our problem because of Pakistan, and not Pakistan's problem because of us. Big difference. Let's use creativity to keep the squeeze on.

For example...we can also use this time of subdued belligerence by Indian Muslims and suggest strongly that we enact a uniform civil code, without which our country is doomed in any case. Offer the Muslims a straight deal - You want to accept a uniform civil code, you can do so right now, or else, accept a criminal code for Muslims that is different from others, and we can use Saudi Arabia as a shining example to copy from. That will be the last time anybody ever talks against a uniform civil code. To think as Indians, we certainly cannot paint ourselves in different shades on the basis of this nonsense called religion. Religious freedom should always take a backseat to unfairness, if the progress of India shouldn't take a backseat to archaic notions.

Now, for heavens' sake, let's get creative about getting something done without the aid of our dumb as bricks politicians. All these fools are interested in is screwing our country and making money for themselves. Let's come up with ideas to remove the incentives politicians get by winning an election. It is time our politicians are ignored and the country progressed on the initiative of our own people - yes, you and I. That would mean we do everything a little differently, a little thoughtfully, and that we spend a bit of time and energy to help fix the system where it isn't working.

We are not the same, people!

Yousuf Raza Gilani, the PM of Pakistan went on record a few days ago, stating that the cause of terrorism is poverty, disease and unemployment. Well how come only Pakistanis see terror as an alternative to povety, disease and unemployment? Know what we Indians do? We get a job, get ourselves to hospital or move to look for a job. We do not see our lives getting better by offering our lives to take others' lives! (How many terminally ill people would actually want to become terrorists? This Gilani is smoking something not yet sold this side of the border!)

For a while Asif Zardari, the so called democratically elected President of Pakistan said he doesn't "think" the terrorists who attacked Mumbai were Pakistanis. In fact, he said he doubted if they were Pakistani! How can he think and have doubts if he hasn't been presented any evidence, and why would Pakistan act to close seven terrorist training camps under US pressure if they still didn't have enough evidence of their country's involvement?

The repeated parrot squawking that comes from Islamabad is now a different shade - "You can't say the government is complicit just because the wrongdoers are Pakistani!" Well, what a change from "non-state actors" that were conjured up not too long ago! The truth is that Pakistan has been caught on its conniving backside on a sharp knife. Any which way it twists, it is going to hurt from now on.

As recently as today, the well known characters that Pakistan claimed it had under house arrest less than a week ago, are now miraculously "not in Pakistan"! Gee, we must all be idiots. Pakistan must be enjoying this game. And just before this diabolic claim, came the assertion that there is no evidence to put on trial Masood Azhar or anybody else currently being sought by India. Very dramatic indeed!

What we as Indians should realize is that Pakistanis are fundamentally different from us. Mentally, they are formed by two thirds of their post independence period under military rule. Socially, they are neither Islamic nor modern. Pakistanis in the US and the UK will act like they are very much part of the modern mainstream, but they also send money to charities that fund very illegal causes like terrorism. Somehow, Pakistanis always find a way to justify their behaviour, just like Imran Khan, the famous cricketer once said he doesn't know any fast bowler that doesn't tamper with the ball to get unnatural swing!

The lack of clarity right now in New Delhi comes from not knowing what yardstick to use to act against Pakistan. The truth is, Pakistan cannot be embarrassed. Pakistani diplomats will see anything as a victory as long as they can put on a show of some sort to postpone the next embarrassment. They are low in their approach, but cloak it with a smile as good as anybody else's. That is how they pull off their heists of complete deceit. Starting with Musharraf who projected himself as a friend of America in the war on terror, and then siphoned off a majority of the 100 million dollars he was given, to Gilani, who repeatedly says Pakistan is acting because of UN pressure, not India's, Pakistan has always placed the most conniving, shady, shadowy, slimy rascals in their top positions. In India, we simply set higher standards for we are fundamentally capable of seeing ourselves as righteous people.

There is without a doubt, an inferiority complex at play in Pakistan. Just like is so evident in Nepal. Neither country will ever be as powerful or as wealthy as India. In Nepal, strangely, there is even open animosity against India, Indians and our perceived "arrogance". It is easy for Indians to be seen as arrogant in Nepal, because we are used to better service. If we have expectations of these two countries that are much weaker than us, to be able to do even the simplest things we can do here in India, we'd be sadly mistaken.

Everything India does, Pakistan will want to copy. It has virtually nothing to contribute to the world on its own, and is forever doomed to be in India's shadow. Being an Islamic country doesn't exactly poise it for modern growth, either. But pride is a terrible alternative to incompetence, and Pakistan hasn't yet found out. Pakistan cannot take advantage of everything it gets from the world outside, like aid and weapons, and continue to act like it is a shining island of righteousness! It is bloody well answerable, no matter what it pretends to be or not be.

The responses that have come from Pakistan started with denial, matured to blabbering, and has now settled on jingoism. Gilani is trying to put up a brave face, but is a political fox, nothing more. Pakistan has no statesman the world would respect, like Manmohan Singh or Vajpayee. It has what most seedy shops have in tourist areas - a front! The real shops that offer value show up in reviews in global magazines and books. This is where India has scored heavily over Pakistan. No matter what, India has a good image worldwide, and it hasn't come upon us by accident. We have worked for our prosperity, we have worked for our place in the world by taking morally high paths in every forum.

It is the same inferiority complex that leads to the making of terrorists. They are all losers in their own minds, trying to get a slice of fame, of greatness. They just want to be noticed. Usually when they get noticed, they get killed, but that doesn't matter as long as they get noticed. This is the low mindset we are fighting against. There is no winning against this mindset. There is no changing this mindset as long as we are focussed on moving forward. Pakistan has been left far behind. They love to say that India and Pakistan have the same problems. They love to say we are the "same" people. Any association with India is really nothing but their desperate attempt to claw out of their inferior position.

We have learnt diplomacy, put in place a system that cannot be scoffed at, and despite all our failings, we have achieved enough in sixty odd years to feel pretty good about. We certainly are closer to perfection in all the stands we have taken as a nation than the USA can ever claim to be. But we should learn not to apply these diplomatic yardsticks to Pakistan. Pakistan is that yapping puppy at the heel, and it does not understand anything other than a kick to its face, and this time hard enough to knock a couple of teeth out. There are some of us who might want to kill the son of a bitch, but that may not be necessary. We can always kill it if it becomes a rabid dog.

To India, Pakistan does not figure in its every day considerations. Pakistanis could easily be as indifferent as India, but for some reason, it cannot. India shows up on TV, all of a sudden slicker and richer, and being touted as a superpower in the making. Pakistan cannot openly aspire to be like India. So, it is easy to cloak jealousy and envy in finding faults with India. Kashmir is a big fault, and we should thank ourselves for giving it to the Pakistanis. If we had been imperiously powerful like the USA, we can only imagine how shrivelled Pakistanis would feel. We are fast getting there and that is what is hurting Pakistan right now.

Our television invades their homes, our culture of prosperity is there at an arm's length, but they cannot taste it. They have never won a war against us, and now, our professional cricket league is something Pakistani cricketers are getting rich from! It suddenly looks as if Pakistan should love India, but understandably hating the success of India as an economic power. A feeling of impotence, inferiority and sometimes, utter despair seems to grip Pakistani leadership. This is not going to evaporate overnight. People retiring from the Pakistani military establishment are bound to support groups wanting to cause mayhem in India, self proclaimed strategic experts will not hesitate to suggest India, Israel and the USA are an anti-islamic nexus - as if this nexus would exist if we weren't fighting the same "Islamic" enemy!

Indian muslims will continue to be the confusing lot they do not understand! It was incredulous when they asked Irfan Pathan whether he would play for Pakistan, just because he is a Muslim. He immediately said, "No chance" with his infectious smile, as if to say, "What the heck are you talking about?" To Indian muslims, being muslim is a separate thing from being Indian. They are largely happy to be both, no matter what arguments they have with other extreme religious fanatics in India. The fact is, given all that has transpired in Mumbai, there has been no anti muslim reaction in India at all. This is so loudly conspicuous in its absence that Indian muslims of all economic strata would have undoubtely taken note of. Life goes on. That's the great thing about India. There is an India beyond this nonsense of terrorism.

We are superior to Pakistan in every possible way. For us it is a matter of deciding how much we want to pay to put Pakistan out of its misery. We cannot win efficiently against Pakistan until we decide how much we want to damage it. There is no way it is going to get away unscathed for its actions or inactions. But we need to get over this notion, however remote, that we can treat Pakistan as an equal. It simply isn't and will never be.

Friday, December 12, 2008

How Low Can We Go?

If there is one incident that exposes national character, or lack of it, it is an attack on our soil. The Mumbai attacks provided that, and sure enough, all the dogs are baying for blood, as if things were picture perfect before those miserable 60 hours. But come upon us it did, and in grand style. The event itself was rather gruesome, and the media coverage made a mockery of journalism in the process of presenting "exclusive" specials! How the heck can anyone be excluded in the coverage of a terror attack of national importance?

In the aftermath, in the period of self examination that dutifully follows, the saddest story is that of supposedly bulletproof vests that police personnel wore that weren't able to stop bullets. It is one thing that they carry outdated firepower, but it is an entirely shameful thing that equipment that is supposed to protect their lives fails the very purpose it is there for. Further tests have proved that bullets do indeed pass through these bullet"proof" vests.

This cannot be anything other than a case of rampant corruption, with the manufacturer in cahoots with someone making purchasing decisions within the government of Maharashtra or the government of India. This is a blot on our national character if we aren't just making money illegally, but actually selling death to our own men in uniform, cloaked in an appearance of safety. Can we go lower than this? I'm now betting we can.

The logic of the culprits must be that police don't get shot at that often, so how is anybody going to ever find out if the damn vests are bulletproof or not? The supplier should be made to wear the vests he claims are bulletproof and shot at. That would be fair enough wouldn't it? After all, he should be able to swear by his product, shouldn't he? If he starts saying his prayers as soon as he is strapped into one of his own vests, he deserves to die.

We're fighting an enemy determined to bleed us, because he doesn't have the balls to take us on face to face. There is no way Pakistan can defeat India in any scale of warfare. So, the conniving bastards have come up with ingenious schemes to beat every kind of protest India can lodge, completely absolve themselves of responsibility and have built every instrument of deniability they need to simply say, "Heck, we don't know who did this. Sorry"! And some of us are helping rogue nations like Pakistan kill our poor policemen by issuing vests to them that can't stop their bloody terrorists bullets?

Last night, close to where I live, there was a road accident. An older gentleman on a scooter ran into a dog, got thrown off his scooter and landed on his head, bleeding and going unconscious almost immediately. Of course a group of people came running to lift him up. I called 102 for an ambulance, which rang and rang till someone picked up, and before I could tell him where to send the ambulance, he was giving me two other numbers for the GH ambulance, which I was supposed to call myself. Now, what the f$#k is an emergency number provided for if it becomes a directory service in the moment of need? What is worse, nobody picked up the GH ambulance numbers! Low enough?

The poor man was moved to a bench at the side of the road in front of a tea shop of some sort. When I was busy trying to get help on the phone, one asshole starts giving out visiting cards, with the number of "his" ambulance service we could call. The son of a bitch didn't make one call from his cell phone, supposedly because I was "already calling", and never made a move to do so even after I told him I failed to reach an ambulance service calling the official number. What kind of inhuman gives out visiting cards to people at the scene of an accident trying to make a sale?

We are always ready to become a mob, and that is good when warding off very local threats, but I didn't hear Raj Thackeray unleashing his army on the terrorrists holed up in Mumbai! In fact the son of a bitch hid himself during the entire episode, while the chief minister and his deputy both made asses of themselves and promptly got thrown out of their pompous positions! In the middle of so much nonsense, Ram Gopal Verma paid a visit to one of the "location"s along with the CM and managed to kick up another controversy.

For some strange reason NDTV thought it necessary to give Ram Gopal Verma a chance to redeem himself before his country and he did a brilliant job of putting both his feet into his mouth! Like it was somehow important to give a movie director the chance to explain his presence at the scene of a terror attack when the embers were still hot, NDTV got Srinivasan Jain, who is coyly called "Vasu" by some of his equally incompetent colleagues, to interview this clown Ram Gopal Verma. He was stupid enough to say he came to meet Ritesh, the Chief Minister's son, to narrate a story to him, and since he was leaving somewhere in a hurry, tagged along to tell him the story in the car! Some story that must have been, considering how timely this one is!

It really could have stopped short of an absolutely mayhem on TV if he didn't say he simply tagged along and suddenly, unexpectedly, they were right behind the CM at the Taj hotel, walking over the wreckage of the attacks. When "Vasu" asked Verma if he understood how people felt about him being there, the fool went on to explain how it had already been declared a safe area so he never thought he did anything wrong by being there! I really thought it wouldn't get this low, when he went one lower. He didn't even understand the question! He didn't understand that a famous commercial, glossy, masala film maker like him showing up on TV would make people feel that this matter was being handled in a frivolous matter. Neither did "Vasu" have it in him to rephrase the question so the dope could understand, nor did the dope clear his ears to hear better. It was such a sham and a shame.

Being caught with your pants down is one thing, but there was nothing to prevent Srinivasan Jain from saying, "Look, it looks bloody frivolous when someone like you shows up where people have died in a highly publicised attack which is being referred to as an attack on India, okay? So, please understand that this is not going to go down well with people who are bloody mad at the whole thing right now. This has nothing to do with "safe area" and your bloody narration of how you got dragged to the spot, get it, dopey?!" But he didn't have the words. That's how low our journalism is. Down with our politicians, their actor kids, their stupid directors, and the whole lot of incompetent nincompoops.

Like this wasn't enough already, by their own low slogan "Enough is enough", NDTV keeps quoting Aamir Khan, like he is some icon of national unity. Even Sanjay Dutt has shown up on TV to contribute his share of "I'm angry" without talking a word about how he helped the cause by buying guns from the underworld that went on to bomb Mumbai not that long ago. We can't possibly choose someone less qualified, but then that is why we are India. We love the lows!

Okay, by now, we're ready to start going up, since we feel we have hit rock bottom, right? WRONG! Mr. Naqvi, spokesperson for BJP likens people who protest with candles and flowers to terrorists! Just like that! The CM of Kerala decides to pay a visit to a martyr's father's house and gets thrown out like he should be, but curses the poor slain man's father! R R Patil, the deputy CM of Maharashtra calls the Mumbai attacks a "small incident" and loses his job.

It cannot get lower than this, but we just might make it possible.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Can you afford to have faith?

Joel and Victoria Osteen, some of the best known preachers in the USA, were on Larry King today talking about the importance of faith in times of distress. They spoke about how we shouldn't have a victim mentality and that God has a plan.

It is because people had faith in the stock market that they are in the mess they are in today. It is because they had faith in the real estate market that many are homeless and it is because banks had faith in the American economy that they gave billions of dollars in loans to unqualified buyers.

Faith asks you to believe in something beyond your control. It asks you to trust without question and trust that what you have faith in is a good thing. It is brilliant when it works in your favour, but what happens when it works againt you? That is the wake up call to really start thinking, not putting more faith where it didn't work in the first place! It is amazing how many times people who are quite successful at what they do, particularly in professions where they don't have control over the outcome of their efforts, tell you how important it is to have faith. Those that failed, you never hear from, so you never hear that faith doesn't quite work!

People who lead ordinary lives, without a shot at great riches or success of any stellar sort, often fall for the faith nonsense, thinking that it is God's will whatever comes their way, and that it is God's will whatever doesn't come their way. It is amazing how many times God's will works towards making that guy rich that actually bought the lottery ticket and how his will is limited to one ticket!

Faith is easy to sell, because it is based on fear. It is based on the fear of taking responsibility and on the fear of the rational that tells you point blank that you are nothing but a statistic, a number, and of very little significance beyond that in the larger scheme of things. Fear sells rampantly. If that fear can be shifted onto God, or something equally faith based, then we can play victim of that "higher power" and not bother to acknowledge that we are each nothing but a specimen of humanity and nothing more with a random chance of being happy or sad, successful or not, ugly or beautiful as much as dead or alive.

Those who trust knowledge, though, are much more empowered and capable. Knowledge can be sharpened, and cannot be denied. It is measurable, and it is applicable. It is acquirable and it is transferable. What a currency! If we were to have real faith in God and the power of something as magnificent as creation, I would imagine we were given brains in order to free God from having to think for us all, while we simply clung to faith in Him!

I continued to listen to Joel Olsteen and his wife Victoria, to see how deep this rut would run, just out of curiosity, since Larry King is no idiot, even while a vast majority of Americans are. He was smart enough to ask a great question about whether Joel thought being gay was a choice. The idiot actually said YES! And his wife quipped in to say it is not a perfect world but that gay people were quite actually quite nice and wonderful! What a great way of saying they want to keep their follower base secure!

So, here we have faith based people calling gay people imperfect, while hinting perhaps that heterosexual people are somehow closer to perfection and God, while stating that marriage should be between a man and a woman! Knowledge tells us today that being heterosexual or homosexual is an orientation, very much a naturally occuring thing, and if God were to play any part in this, He is by no means getting his act straight!

It's easy to talk about faith when it is working for you. When you have figured out the way to good health, a good economic status, and a routine that doesn't tire you down, it is a fantastic thing to have. When you are out there in the competition, facing an uncertain world, wanting to do better, relying on the chances you are going to take, wanting to succeed, wanting to build something out of yourself, knowledge is a much better companion.

The Wright brothers didn't get their aeroplane to fly with faith. They figured out a way to increase the pressure of air below the wings over the pressure of it above the wings. We win wars by knowing where the enemy is holed up and pounding those locations with ammunition, not by sharpening our rusty swords in the darkness till the enemy's ammunition rains on us. All of humanity's progress in the last two centuries is based on the Industrial revolution. We made more progress in these last two hundred years than we had in the two thousand years before that, only because of science and technology, not because of new religious practices.

Fools who preach faith without putting the onus on knowledge are doing a great disservice to humanity. If bad economic times are a "test" from God, then preachers are a bigger test. I wonder why God would want to test his creations so much if he was so great and perfect and omnipresent. It could very well be that God is all that, and just having fun to see what we would do in each and every situation! I would do that if I were God, but I wouldn't answer a single prayer, except maybe a child's. I would answer a child's prayer just to make it more fun for a young soul. I mean, why screw up a kid's life and fill it with despair when all he wants is a cricket bat?

It is easy to go round and round in circles when you talk about faith, because you can always say every failure is not a let down by faith, but a preparation for a greater success. I haven't heard anyone say that faith limited their success by not giving them enough "tests". In other words, we don't know a damn thing about faith, but want to twist it any which way we can to avoid talking about rational things, which can be boring and rather cruelly honest. If you become a candidate for faith, it will take you in that comforting circle of escape, round and round till you are giddy and full of it.

Faith doesn't have much to offer except a crutch when you are feeling helpless. Knowledge will tell you that statistically, it is absolutely possible, through the choices you make, that you will hit such lows once in a while, and your brain will figure out a way to evaluate the choices you have, and you will have enough of a chance to do better. When you have figured out exactly how you screwed up the last time, having more faith and taking the same route will lead you down to the same low again. You KNOW that, so this time you would take a different route and be a little more pragmatic and informed. That, my friend is knowledge, borne out by experience. That is the kind of person God would be proud of having created.

Have faith in me, I speak the truth here!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Nationalism Misplaced

The nationalists are out in force, demanding a safer India, a stronger India, a more accountable India. The attacks in Mumbai have turned on a fervour that hasn't yet subsided. India is suddenly inflamed and angry, and want results. Our politicians are fair game, and a few heads have already rolled.

But what are our nationalists achieving now that they couldn't have fought for before a bunch of no good, gun toting terrorist pigs decided to attack Mumbai's soft targets? Surprise, surprise! By bringing out their patriotic emotions to the fore, they have given the terrorists exactly the satisfaction they would love to have - the feeling that they are fighting against an entire nation!

Imagine being part of a group that trains to kill and maim, destroy and burn - all in remote hiding places, under the tutelage of shadowy characters with no intellect to understand anything more than violence, and then suddenly being promoted to receive the attention of the world, and the reward of fighting againt a powerful "nation"! That should be a real high in their low lives. What is worse, it will induce them into a delusion of being equal to the task of fighting a nation, and spur them to greater and more spectacular attacks on an enemy that everybody knows is way too powerful, but now seems eligible for attack.

Why nationalist sentiments come out in the wake of a terrorist attack is beyond me. Attack on India? Please! These are rogues and freak murderers on the loose, causing mayhem. Should these elements really call for anything in reaction that is nationalistic? Do they deserve that exalted emotion in reaction to their ugly schemes? I don't think so, and I don't think our fashionable nationalists who woke up in Mumbai and other cities quite realize how many things there are to fight for that will actually make our lives better and make our nation progress faster.

The reason is - this kind of incident is simple enough for a lot of people to come out of their indifferent existences, and easy enough to collect groups to go let off some steam and have some impassioned conversations. The incidents we have on a daily basis that are highly anti-national like bribery, extortion, corruption, pollution, rank incompetence, rape, and murder are definitely more within touching distance of the common Indian and most certainly within the powers of politicians to fix, but these aren't "sexy" enough for our nationalists. We want bombs, fire, media attention, foreigners talking of support, comparisons to other events worldwide - spectacle! Without these, our nationalism is confined to accepting status quo as "normal". The truth is bribery, extortion, corruption, pollution, rank incompetence, rape and murder aren't bloody normal either, but they happen often enough that we have accepted them as such.

The monotony in statements that come out of Mumbai's residents in massive numbers is numbing. Everybody wants to stand united, everybody thinks this is not just an attack on Mumbai, and everybody thinks our politicians are responsible. We all know our politicians have never been responsible. The rest of the world has sung the same tune, that they must stand shoulder to shoulder with India in this hour of crisis. So, we stand shoulder to shoulder and do what? Watch over the dead bodies? Give the terrorists more to cheer about?

The worst insult to Mother India was Sanjay Dutt on TV saying he was angry! Isn't this the son of a thrice born b&^%h who bought weapons from the underworld? And now, suddenly he is a nationalist? I am all for reformation, and I am proud of this rank idiot for shedding some of his stupidity over the years, but has he earned the right to talk for a nation? Come on, India. Surely we can do better than this.

How about the crisis of character that we have all been marinated in? From the fools who ignore no smoking signs, to the politician who sneers and sniggers when cornered with a straight question, from the trader who demands a price well above maximum retail price to the teacher who doesn't know his subject, we know we have failed as a nation and are decaying on the inside faster than we are shining on the outside. Do we really need a tea company telling us to wake up and vote, when we should be lynching the rascals we voted for the last time who haven't delivered anything they were supposed to?

We have been dumbed down, and we are loving it. We are coccooned in the constant barrage of hype and commercialism that tells us we are doing great when we are not. Being sensitive about our country is not a good substitute for being ignorant and indifferent about what we should be doing as citizens. We are being led like sheep by the "system" that allows a few people to take advantage of weaknesses, loopholes, and distractions, all leading to enormous gain, while the welfare of the nation is systematically destroyed.

The "bulletproof" vests supplied to the men in uniform at the Chatrapati Shivaji Station allowed bullets to pass through them. That is how some of our "heroes" died. Further investigation on dummies with the same vests ended up with smashed dummies - categorically showing that these vests did not do the job they were supposed to! Shouldn't this be big on TV? What a symbolic example of how India has been let down for many, many years and exploited and raped and pillaged by our own selfish people. This won't make news because we don't have the conscience to think of this as being important or sexy enough to be nationalistic.

On the ground, the reality is that we have a failure on many fronts. We were not a great nation to start with and we are not getting there in a hurry. A great nation has people who do their duty as citizens, on all fronts, at all times, not just people who wake up when politically attractive. A great nation does not put up with mediocre performance. A great nation has conscientious people, with a highly developed sense of duty and compassion. We do not have any of the above, and most Indians I know would never put the cause of the nation above a cause of personal betterment. A great nation would never have bowed to the will of hijackers and turned over prisoners to secure the release of an aeroplane and its passengers. India did. So, what the bloody hell are we suddenly so nationalistic about? It really took a bunch of terrorists to wake us up? We should be ashamed of that very fact.